Shawn Spencer is Not a Pinata
by Kkarrie
Summary: A short about Shawn's adventure at the chief's daughter's birthday. For Jden on PF


AN: This is a short I did tonight for Jden over on Psychfic. She requested a humorous fic of Shawn being beaten up with a foam baseball bat. This is what happens.

hcyspsych

It was a bright sunny August afternoon in Santa Barbara California. It was afternoons like this that made people forget they were employed and made them want to spend the entire day in the sun at the beach or in a hammock. Unfortunately three year-olds and the beach didn't make for a good combination. This meant Chief Karen Vick was having her daughter's third birthday at the local park. A picnic table had been adorned with bright streamers, balloons and best of all a beautifully frosted cake.

Shawn Spencer was never a man to pass up free cake. He would get out of bed in the morning for free cake. It was with this in mind that he and Gus pulled up to the park a few minutes after the party started.

"Dude, what is your dad doing here?" Gus asked Shawn as Shawn struggled to get a giant piñata out of the backseat.

"He used to be Iris' nanny, remember. We almost got arrested that case and I had to fake propose to Juliet asking her to be my fake wife." Shawn reminded him.

"You do realize the chief's daughter is only turning three right?" Gus said as they walked across the open area.

"There are other people here that will enjoy the sugary goodness this hippopotamus shaped piñata holds in his belly." Shawn said patting the piñata on it's papier-mâché head. Shawn could see his father, Detectives Lassiter and O'Hara as well as several other people he didn't recognize, but who looked like the chief's husband. Shawn pegged them as Iris' aunts and uncles. He assumed the kids running amok around the table would be the cousins.

"Mr. Spencer!" The chief said in surprise when she saw the psychic and his partner at the table. She was holding the hand of her blonde haired child. Shawn saw pictures of her all the time, thanks to the digital frame that held a never ending slideshow in the chief's office, but he hadn't seen her in person since the Nanny Robbery case.

"Good afternoon Chief!" Shawn said brightly.

"Happy Birthday Iris." Gus said winking at the girl. Iris giggled and then tried to pull away from her mother's hand. Vick let Iris go and made sure the girl walked over to her father, who was just yards away.

"Mr. Spencer, I must admit I didn't think you'd be showing up today." The chief said crossing her arms. Shawn held up a hand.

"No need to apologize. Gus and I just wanted to bring Howard by," Shawn patted the head of the hippo again. "and wish Iris a happy birthday."

"That's a pretty big piñata, Shawn." Juliet said. Her face was shining with happiness being surrounded by so much family atmosphere. It reminded her of her own family birthday parties.

"Well, to be fair Gus wanted to pick a smaller one, but I reminded him that Lassie probably wouldn't be able to hit it if it was too small."

"Spencer, I could peg that Pomeranian if I wanted to." Lassiter pointed across the park at a tiny dog being led by it's owner. "I said _if _I wanted to." He protested as the parents around the table gave him shocked looks.

"We even brought rope." Shawn said holding up a coil of rope in one hand.

"Did you bring anything to hit the thing with?" Henry asked, once again reminding Shawn of how he had failed to think everything through. Shawn's smile flickered for a second.

"I don't need to bring a bat dad, I knew there would be one here." Shawn pointed out. "I am psychic after all."

"Evan brought a bat and ball with him." One of the aunts suggested, showing Shawn a toy baseball bat. It was a hard foam bat, perfect for a kid of five or six.

"C'mon Shawn, let's get this set up." Henry said grabbing the baseball bat. Shawn looked mournfully at the cake sitting on the table, but he followed his dad to one of the large trees near the table. The kids had all come over to see what Shawn and his dad were doing. Henry quickly threw the rope around a branch and secured one end to the piñata. Shawn grabbed the other end up the rope and hoisted the hippo into the air. Juliet came forward with a bandana she had found in her car that could be used as a blindfold. Evan the six year old owner of the bat came forward to be first in line. The chief wasn't going to let Iris hit the piñata so they didn't need to worry about letting the birthday girl go first.

"Alright Evan," Shawn said giving him the bat. "let's get this blindfold on you." He reached out with one hand to put the bandana around the kid's eyes and Shawn felt pain radiate through his shin. He realized Evan had hit him with the bat. There was another dull thunk as the bat contacted with Shawn's shins.

"Evan!" The aunt's horrified voice sounded.

"Hey, kid stop that!" Shawn said backing away from the little terror. Evan followed Shawn a slightly crazy look in his eye. Shawn got another five feet away before the rope was stretched to it's limit. "Lassifrass you've got to help me on this one!" Shawn protested as Evan landed another good whack to Shawn's shin. He looked over and saw that the head detective was nearly doubled over in laughter. Gus was also laughing and Juliet was fighting a smile. Shawn had no choice but to let go of the rope to grab the bat away from Evan. He heard the hippo piñata smash to the ground. Evan was distracted by the noise and his grip on the bat loosened and Shawn made a grab for it. Evan let Shawn have the bat and ran to the split belly of the piñata to grab his share of the candy.

"It's kids like that who make you never want to have kids." Shawn complained to Juliet after all the candy had been collected. He was sitting at the picnic table with a piece of cake rubbing his shins.

"I don't know he was pretty clever." Juliet said smiling.

"Well, Lassiter was no help." Shawn glared at the older man who was sitting at the other end of the picnic table with his own piece of cake.

"Forgive me Spencer, if I thought you could defend yourself against a six year old wielding a foam baseball bat." Lassiter objected. His voice was serious but there was laughter in his eyes that Shawn rarely saw, usually only when the detective was shooting something.

"He should have had a license for that thing." Shawn muttered,

"Suck it up Shawn." Gus commented. "You invited yourself here in the first place. You're just upset you didn't get any of the candy."

"Dude, I looked there wasn't even one sour patch kid left. Not even the lemon ones which no one likes because they're too sour."

"Shawn, deal with it." Henry said coming over to get his own piece of cake. "It's free cake and don't tell me that's why you aren't here in the first place. That's why I am."

"I thought it was because you liked Iris." Juliet said confused. Henry shrugged.

"That and the free cake."


End file.
